The Zen of Relationships

Or, “Crap, have I grown or not”? So I’m looking around on my feed reader and came across a post by be Conscious now called “Ten Ways to Make Any Relationship Work“; be it personal relationships or intimate the thoughts and pondering this brought up were good. Then again, it brought thoughts of “Why didn’t I do that? or Did I do that?”. None-the-less, it’s good.

1. Accept responsibility for co-creating this relationship

Simply, you can’t change the other person but you got into this relationship with 50%
responsibility so you can change yourself.

What am I bringing to the table?
How am I adding to this?
What do my actions and words result in?

Then again, I already think too much so chilling out may be better for me. But this is a good point, a relationship is a 50/50 decision by two people, both of which should be conscious of what’s going on. I’m not always on the path with this one.

2. Release Expectations

Expectations cloud the experience. Duh, but why do I do it so hardcore then? My freakin’ ego is very thick that’s why. Example from the author; “If you expect your partner to show love in a specific way, such as surprising you with flowers, you will miss the ways he/she DOES show you love.”

I’m guilty, I have realized that I put too many expectations on a relationship. What ends up happening is I’m unhappy and then I feel the other person doesn’t like me, then I start to ask if they do and then I cause them to don’t.

3. Release Judgments

“Know that what you hold to be right and true is only limited to your perspective”

Nice….I like this one, I think I’m kind on the path here but still much work to do.

4. Accept what IS

“This follows directly on from Judgment - because when you stop judging people, you must accept what is.” True but you must mean it. In a past relationship my partner hated it when I said “it is what it is”, which started out to mean to me I accept the situation the way it is, it’s all good. But, what it morphed into wasn’t good, it became a saying for when I was frustrated with a situation in which I should have not judged and just accepted or changed me to fix it. Sure, things are the way they are but the one saying it must believe it and just accept. The one saying it would be me.

5. See the Mirror

Put yourself in the shoes of your partner.

6. Don’t take anything personally

Yea! Right, go ahead and try. It’s good advice but oh so hard for me.

7. Learn to Listen

It’s a lost art.

8. Learn to let go of the need to be right

9. Learn to laugh

10. Learn to Enjoy

All good advice and I still have much work to do but I need to give myself a pat on the back, I’ve come a long way since my early 20’s and although I’m now ready for a long term relationship I am also away of my lack of perception and willingness to grow. God, please, I’m ready, it’s that enough? Grow me already.

Namaste

Share This

Popularity: 7% [?]

Sphere: Related Content