The concept of “Upeksha” has come up on my blog stats many times in the last few week, as a keyword on how people find this blog it’s at the top. So, I thought I’d bring up an old post I wrote, talking about a Thick Nhat Hann book on “True Love”.
Upeksha – equanimity or freedom, when you love you bring freedom to the person you love, loving in such a way as the other person you love feels free; “Dear one, do you have enough space in you heart and all around you?”
Of the 4 aspects of love, this is the most difficult for me.
Equanimity = e·qua·nim·i·ty /?ikw??n?m?ti, ??kw?-/ Pronunciation Key – Show Spelled Pronunciation[ee-kwuh-nim-i-tee, ek-wuh-] Pronunciation Key – Show IPA Pronunciation –noun mental or emotional stability or composure, esp. under tension or strain; calmness; equilibrium.
Non-attachment = ‘Non-attachment…views desire as faulty, thereby deliberately restraining desire…’
Even-mindedness or letting go
“Upa” means ‘over’ and “iksh” means ‘to look’. Basically you look over around, under and beyond, seeing the whole situation and not a small facet. Ability to see everyone and everything as equal and not with discrimination. No ‘self’ and no ‘other’.
From Thick’s book, a few words that hit home: “Without upeksha, your love may become possessive. A summer breeze can be very refreshing; but if we try to put it in a tin can so we can have it entirely for ourselves, the breeze will die. Our beloved is the same.”
“True love allows you to preserve your freedom and the freedom of your beloved. That is upeksha.”
I’ve realized that I need much work in this area, so plan on seeing more as I work and develop this in myself.