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Metta: the Practice of Loving-Kindness

By Kris Vockler

Just about every human being goes through varied degrees of contention in a lifetime, a feeling of swimming against the current of a river. This being a form of suffering in life is, at the base, a concept that spawned Buddhism in the eyes of the Awakened One, Buddha. Life is inherently full of suffering and we all experience it at different levels, some with great foreboding and fear and others with just having a bad day. According to Buddha, one of the practices that can cultivate a vaccine for this type of suffering is the practice of Metta or Loving-Kindness cultivation.
Metta is a Pali word, a language in which the cannon of Buddhism was written a language of Southeast Asia (Sri Lanka, Myanmar, Thailand, Cambodia, Laos, Vietnam, India, and Nepal) during the First Century BCE (100 BC). Also known as the Classical Era, this time period is most marked as the declining years of the Roman Republic in Europe.

Yet, what is Metta and how can one use it, since it appears to be a tool to thwart the negative in life. At its seed, Metta is a quality of the heart that sees life without conflict or contention. What sounds rather naive is actually very profound and takes work to cultivate. Imagine an experience where one does not fume through the day because of a long commute in traffic or freedom from negative thoughts towards one who may have wronged us. The why we would want to do this can be summed up in a quote from Buddha; “When angry the first reaction is to pick-up a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at your enemy in hopes of causing as much harm as they caused you, yet the only person who is harmed is you by the hot coal and burns on your hands”.

How does one go about cultivating this golden bit of life lesson left out by our teachers and society? Through training the mind in meditation and re-training the brain to see over and around the mountain as opposed to at the mountain which is the big obstacle. Cultivation of Metta is a mental factor and thus can be created if one wishes to train their mind.

Most Buddhists under practice start with Mindfulness Meditation and then move on to a Metta Meditation method to further progress through what the Buddha had taught yet it is something that can be done by a lay person or a beginner in Buddhist study. Cultivating this line of thinking creates unconflicted relationships, freedom from fear, a greater feeling of connection to the world and as a result a softening of the heart and much calmer waters to swim in.

To start a practice one must only do some simple steps; set-up a comfortable place to meditate daily and open your heart. In a comfortable sitting position, let your gaze relax and pay attention to the tickle of air moving in and out of your nose. After a short while you most likely will be bombarded with thoughts from the mind like; this is boring, I need bread and milk from the store, I wonder what my sister is doing. It’s important to just let those thoughts drift in and out and when you notice them, bring your attention back to your breath.

The goal of the Metta practice is in generating the loving kindness on yourself first, then towards a loved one, thirdly to one you may consider an enemy (could be the barista who make your latte wrong this morning), and finally towards all beings on earth.
Once you have sat for a few moments and are comfortable, think about an aspect of yourself you love and respect or when you may have helped another just because. Let a smile rise to your face for what a good feeling this brings about. Say to yourself in your mind or out loud:

May I be safe from danger
Maybe I be happy
May I be healthy and strong
May I have a sense of well being

Continue to bring the mind back when it wanders and keep the thoughts you had that made you feel good about your loving aspects. At this time, especially if you are new to meditation, you may conclude the meditation and do it again tomorrow. But if you are able to sit for longer the next step is to hold in your mind someone you love and respect, thinking and feeling the reasons why you love and respect them. As before, recite to yourself:

May you be protected from inner and outer harm
May you be happy and peaceful of mind
May you enjoy strength, vitality and health in body
May you be blessed with ease of well being

Feel these statements and let them sink into your consciousness, feel what it feels like to truly have a well wishing for this person. This process is best stopped here and continued like this for as long as you feel it should. It could take some time to notice the bleeding over into daily life, yet when you do notice a greater feeling towards yourself and a greater feeling towards others; this is the time to add the third part; bringing Metta to those who challenge us.

Each time you sit and meditate you start with the self, move to a loved one and eventually move to those who challenge us. When you are ready for the first meditation with the challenged ones, do the first part mentioned above and when ready, bring to your mind someone who may have been a part of causing some resentment or anger in you and recite the following:

Just as I wish to be happy, so may you be happy
May you be touched by loving kindness
May you be free of mental and physical suffering
May you live in peace and harmony
May all being everywhere be happy, peaceful and at ease

You may be saying to yourself; how can this be done, the feelings over this person are so strong. One must remember that feelings are fleeting and pass as quickly as they came but a true mental attitude is rooted and set. This practice will take time and that time will vary for each person but results will be seen and a greater sense of well being and ease will be the product.

During the day when you pass a flower market and catch a whiff of a great smelling flower or when you stop to get your latte and someone holds the door open for you, notice that moment and how wonderful the feeling of ease feels. Know to yourself, this is the mental state you are cultivating in your Metta practice and all living being will benefit from its ripple effect.

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