A Story of Compassion and Dying
December 21, 2007 · Print This Article
The Three Monks of blogging– Wade of The Middle Way, Kenton of Zen-Inspired Self Development, and Albert of Urban Monk.Net - have asked in this holiday time of year for us to share our stories of compassion. To see the original post please click he following links: [The Middle Way], [Zen-Inspired Self Development], and [UrbanMonk.net].
Here is my story…
My Grandfather died just over a year ago, today would have been his birthday. The call I got just before he died is one I’ll never forget; “Kristi, this is Grandma, I need your help, Grandpa is stuck in the bathroom”, “I’ll be right there I said”.
I would do anything for my Grandfather, he was in my mind the embodiment of everything that Buddha taught but didn’t know it. For about a year my Grandfather had begun a slow downhill fall to leukemia so it wasn’t a surprise at the end but that didn’t make it any better. When I got to my Grandparents house, there was Grandpa, stuck between the toilet and the wall, naked. He had grown too weak to help himself and was too heavy for my Grandmother to help him. He was in pain but we still had a chuckle as he said; “Little girl, I’m stuck” and I said; “and naked!”. He always had a fantastic sense of humor and kept it until he could not speak anymore. We wrestled a while as we tried to figure out how to get him back to his chair and after some time we did it at the expense of some humiliation on his part and pride on mine to be able to aide the man I adored so much.
Although he wanted to live to the end in his home, we both knew it was time for him to go to the hospital, the leukemia effects had fully taken over and his body was shutting down. Calling my Father to tell him he better come over, we needed to get Grandpa to the hospital, was rough as he at the same time was dealing with losing his father and being an only child and feeling fully responsible for his parents well being.
We stuck by him at the ER until it became obvious he needed hospice to aide in his final moments in this life. While in the hospital I had gotten a call from a good friend that his step Mother was also in the hospital across town and in her final moments in dealing with cancer. For the next few nights I spent time between a family who’s wife and mother I had grown very fond of and my own Grandfather, both about to die. During this, I started to lose my grip on “what was death” and “how could they go” and “what is next”. Keeping my family and theirs in humor and food was my goal, at least it pushed my agony away.
I wasn’t present for either of their passing, it happened late at night, but I was fully present in my own misery and suffering, as well as a possible loss of faith to boot. They both died within an hour of each other.
The next day when word had gotten around that Grandpa had passed and I was still in shock, the most kind act of compassion came my way. A friend had sent me an email, simply saying; “I know how this feels and we are thinking of you. Can I do anything for you?” Along with it she sent a graphic, seen below, of Buddha’s passing and those around him in agony.
Her simple act of; expressing her knowing of being in my shoes, a simple question of how can she help me, and an image of Buddha’s passing all swarmed in my head. This was the simple act I needed to keep my belief in Buddhism, humanity, and how a life lead with compassion is the only way to live. Thank you my friend.
Popularity: 28% [?]
Sphere: Related Content
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story with us.
You are welcome Patricia, I’m happy you read it.
Kris
Wow…I really don’t know what I can say. I wish I wasn’t a judge, hehe. What a beautiful story. Thank you.
[…] Kris Vockler at Beyond Zen. […]
[…] for mailing address details so we can send the watches to you! Readers Words of Compassion: A Story of Compassion and Dying, by Kris Vockler Compassion For Others — A Lost Necessity, by Ben Lumley Explore posts in […]
Hello Kris,
What a beautiful message of compassion from your friend.
How very blessed you were to have the relationship with your Grandfather that you
did have.
Your story reveals much about you too. In your time of distress you were reaching out to the family of your friend.
This was exactly why I was so excited about
participating in this writing project. I knew that
I would come upon some new and amazing folks
and their blogs.
You still ARE and will always be,
your Grandfather’s *Sunshine*
xo xo
Deb
I agree, I was excited about the project as you were. Thank you for the kind words.
Kris
Concrete stories like this of the effect of compassion really help get the idea across.
Best of luck with your blog.
Thank you for the kind comment ReddyK, Gassho….
Kris
I really like your blog as well, lucky you commented here so I could find you.
Thank you for sharing such a personal story, so poetically and touchingly written.
Gassho,
Wade
http://themiddleway.net
Thank you Wade, I am glad you liked the story, it’s one moment in my life I will never forget.
Gassho,
Kris
Hi Kris, what a lovely story! A simple act can bring about huge compassion and love. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for taking the time to comment, I really appreciate it.
Kris
Kris’s last blog post..Bardo, Death, and a Moment of Transition
On visiting this post again, I find you have redesigned things. Very nice, a unique appearance. Congratulations.
ReddyK - The Atma Jyoti Blog’s last blog post..Are You an Aryan?
Very heartwarming to see the love you have towards your Grandpa & vice versa. I’m sure he is smiling at you from some peaceful place, pleased with himself at the legacy he left behind.
Keep up the good writing.
Rahul’s last blog post..Spread the Love NOW!
Thank you Rahul, I appreciate the comments.
Kris
Kris’s last blog post..Winter Solstice Labyrinth Walk…
[…] Ben Lumley at The New Horizons Project. Kris Vockler at Beyond Zen. Corinne Edwards at Personal Growth with Corinne Edwards. Isabella Mori at Change Therapy. Paula […]
[…] Lumley at The New Horizons Project. Kris Vockler at Beyond Zen. Corinne Edwards at Personal Growth with Corinne Edwards. Isabella Mori at Change Therapy. Paula […]
[…] As many of you know we were part of a wonderful project called “Spread the Love NOW! Group Writing Project“. Created by those wonderfully enlightened folks at [The Middle Way], [Zen-Inspired Self Development], and [UrbanMonk.net]. The project was fantastic and led me to a whole new group of enlightened ones to read and be a part of on this crazy path we each share yet walk alone. To read Beyond Zen’s part of the project, check out this post: A Story of Compassion and Dying. […]
[…] Kris Vockler at Beyond Zen. […]