Often when I tell a story I shy away from those in which I was part of or a party to, to me it smacks of ego-center and self-serving. Yet this story, as it happened to me, was one of great compassion and love for my family. I did nothing but be present and party to something so amazing, I will never forget it.

Not far after my Grandfather passed away, the wife of one of his brother’s also passed away. Her husband had passed on some years before and she lived the rest of her life without him. I am very fond of that side of my family, although my father and my immediate family are not blood relation, you would never have guessed it. My Father and I are direct blood relations to this family in every spiritual sense of the word.

My Mother called to tell me that my great Aunt was passing, in hospice and not expected to live much longer. I remember thinking to myself; “It’s ok, I can go see her at 2PM tomorrow”. Why 2PM? I’m not sure but I knew that I had the time and that was the perfect time. So the next day at 2PM I went to the hospice center to visit. When I arrived I found my family all huddled around her in various states of shock, fear, sadness, love, kindness, and compassion. I was immedately welcomed and took a place in a chair next to my cousins.

As is customary in our culture, we all sat around and told stories of this woman, remembering the past and enjoying each other; laughing and crying together. As I sat there I thought to myself; “What can I do right now? What should I do? What is appropriate?” In studying Buddhism for years I wasn’t sure how to behave in front of my family at this moment, if I said anything, would it come out lost on a crowd who didn’t study Buddhism as I did or would my words we welcome?

After some time, a little voice in my head said, go see her, put your hands on her. This didn’t bother me either as I had been studying Reiki for years and placing my hands on an other to ease pain and suffering is a pleasure. I asked; “Do you all mind if I hold her hand”? Of course my family was like, “Please, get up here and join us”. So I did, I placed my hand in hers and joined the stories around her bed and tried to project energy and compassion onto this woman who was about to pass. The moment was very enjoyable as when I joined the group the stories seemed to flow and become more intensified.

Some more time went by and another voice in my head said to place a hand on her chest and one on the crown of her head. It felt so natural to do this, it felt like home to be in the energy field of not only my great Aunt but my family. It felt like being home, truly a good feeling.

What I felt was truly amazing, I could feel my great Aunt in the throws of her last few moments on earth. It was at this moment that I knew why I was to be there at 2PM, it was truly her last hour. With my hands placed on her head and chest I could feel her energy slowly untangling and lifting away. The next vision in my mind was of her husband and my Grandfather who appeared to be waiting for her to arrive. Right then, at that moment, I knew it was time for her to pass.

I told my family; “Come everyone, join around, put your hands on her, you can feel her; she’s here and she feels good”. Slowly each person in the room, about 15, got up and joined the rest of us around this woman and placed their hands on her feet, legs, hands, chest, head and stomach. I felt as if I wasn’t myself, like the sound of my voice wasn’t mine, I was elsewhere. Then I said to every one in the room; “Hold great thoughts of compassion and love for her, she is leaving now, she needs to know it’s ok and she is loved and love is waiting for her when she untangles from this life”, everyone did that, the room got silent.

In that moment when the room became silent, everyone could feel her. As soon as the last person put their hands on her, the room got very quiet yet very loud with love for what felt like forever but surely was just a few seconds. She passed on in that moment, the second the last person joined, she left. In that moment, what Tibetan Buddhists call Bardo, we all experienced that time in between when one life ends and another begins. The moment didn’t last forever and one everyone realized what had just happened, the tears began to fall. They were tears of joy for the ending of this life and the joining of pure love on the other side, where her husband and my Grandfather waited to welcome her and bring her into everything.

I didn’t do anything other than just be there, I could not have been more grateful to have done so in that moment. I can only hope when I pass from this life I can be in the presence of those who have witnessed my life and help me pass as we did for her.

In Tibetan Buddhism there are 6 levels of Bardo; This Life, Meditation, Dream, Dying, Dharmata, and Existence. They are the fragmented in between states, the gap between the ego and the self and the gap between the self and the next.